After reading this from author and semi-twitter buddy Sarah Cawkwell, and after putting up with some rather bizarre behaviour over the last 48 hours I feel moved to write this:

All I want is to be treated with some respect.  That’s all.  That and some consideration.  That’s all, some consideration and respect.  And decency.  I want to be treated with three things: Respect, consideration, and decency.  And courtesy.  I want to be treated – I’ll come in again.

Respect, consideration, decency, and courtesy.

It’s not hard.  It’s not trying.  It’s not going to take much out of one’s day.

For example: Instead of shouting across the room ‘Why are there three people performing this task, when two will do?’ (I paraphrase, and the task is one I’m doing) why not take me onto one side and ask, quietly ‘Why are you doing this when there’s only enough for two?’ – then at least I can explain to you in simple terms that you haven’t considered the backlog of work from the day before.

For example: Instead of handing out all the payslips to each person in turn and then give mine to someone else – thus managing to confirm my opinion that you have an issue with me and can’t get past it – give it to me directly and smile.  You’ll feel better, I’m sure.

For example: Instead of arranging something that might require me to chip in some cash without asking when is convenient for me, or either whether I even want to – why don’t you ask those things prior to arrangements being made?

For example: If you don’t like the way you’re being spoken to by someone, don’t take it out on me.

For example:  Just because it pisses me off that people don’t clean my desk after the night shift – it gives me the right to complain about it.  I will not, however, leave my desk in a disorderly state.

See, I obey the golden rule.  I try to apply the golden rule to everyday life.  I think the golden rule is something we should aspire to, and not something we should sneer at by saying such ridiculous things as ‘Well, I’ll respect you if you respect me.’  Respect is a two way street, and if one reneges on your side of the deal – it’s never going to work.  At all!

Our society (in this country) seems to be skewed in favour of selfishness, and litigation.  Now I concede that this is not countrywide – and a complete generalisation – and there are pockets of greatness in this area; but it is a concern of mine that unless some radical action – revolution, if you will – that we will slowly slide towards a society of individualists linked by nothing but our Facebook profiles.  We’re forgetting the lessons we were taught by history – and consequently we may be doomed to repeat those mistakes.

A smile, a thank you, a please, a kind word – it’s not much to ask, it is?

Last week I mentioned my band – The Distancing.  Very soon we shall be releasing our first album length project.  11 songs we’ve written and performed extensively over the last 18 months.  It’s been a long road, and people have been wonderfully supportive.  So thank you all.

Tomorrow night I shall be gigging in Burton-upon-Trent.  Future gigs are uncertain at this moment in time.  What I do know is that the music we’ve recorded sounds massive and there are some dynamite tracks on there.  I’m really looking forward to sharing this with the world.

Today, I’ve been contemplating the kind of stuff I listen to at work – and this being a rehearsal night it needs to be a quick one.  A while ago I concocted a few ‘mood inspired’ setlists – one of fast paced, pumping rock music; some chilled music; etc.

The music I work with is usually something with conversation – The West Wing, stand-up comedy, podcasts, but the chilled playlist has been right up my street.  Here are a few selections from it:

• Numb – Thunder.
• The End of The World – Gin Blossoms.
• Home – Foo Fighters.
• Goodbye to You – Michelle Branch.
• Suddenly I See – KT Tunstall.
• If It’s Hurting You – Robbie Williams.
• Zombie Jamboree – Harry Belafonte.
• Sayrui’s Theme – John Williams (from Memoirs of a Geisha)
• Whatdoyousay? – Vivid.
• The Everlasting – Manic Street Preachers.
• She Caught The Katy – The Blues Brothers.
• Pride & Joy – Stevie Ray Vaughan.
• Writing to Reach You – Travis.

Enjoy your evenings.

Chilli – serves 2

• 250g minced beef.
• 1 onion, finely chopped.
• 1 garlic clove, finely chopped or crushed.
• 400g of chopped tomatoes.
• Same size can of Chilli Beans/Red Kidney Beans in chilli sauce.
• Half teaspoon of Paprika (smoked paprika is better.)
• Half tablespoon of mixed herbs.
• Teaspoon of vegetable stock powder.
• Worcester sauce.
• Red wine.

Brown the onion in a frying pan over a medium heat – make sure the onion is soft before going on.  Add the garlic then after a few minutes add the beef.  Break apart the lumps and stir well.  Once the mince is totally browned add the paprika and stir it to coat the meat.  Cover the meat in wine and allow it to bubble to almost nothing, then add the stock powder, and Worcester sauce.  Pour in the tomatoes and the chilli beans, then wash out the tomato can with water (no more than a half can) and add this to the pan.  Stir well, add the herbs and plenty of seasoning, then allow to simmer.  Allow as much of the water to evaporate as possible, you want a nice thick sauce.  As it reduces, season to taste with spices and herbs as required.

Serve with rice, chips, or both.

First, I’m sorry for all the years I mindlessly hated you while you were part of Nirvana.  It wasn’t you I was hating but that no-talent, whiny, self-involved, badly-in-need-of-a-wash, junkie frontman of yours.  I thought it was quite telling when after a few years I caught a documentary detailing how they mixed Nevermind, that Kurt had only one vocal track – and you got at least 4.

Second, I’m sorry for all the bad cover versions of your songs I may perform in the course of my life.

Third, thanks for all the music.  There are so many of your albums and your songs that I now completely love that it almost seems a shame that I couldn’t get over my own stubbornness to learn of your greatness at an earlier age.  From the delicate grace of Home (Echoes, Silence, Patience, Grace) to the wonderful Monkey Wrench (The Colour and the Shape), Stranger Things Have Happened, Next Year, The Pretender, Long Road to Ruin, Stacked Actors, and the beautiful Everlong.  They all have special places in my musical psyche.

Finally, thank you for being one of my biggest influences.  As a drummer, guitarist, songwriter, and aspiring Harley-Davidson owner; you’re my hero.  And you’re a dude to boot.  Tenacious D, Songs for the Deaf (Queens of the Stone Age), and the Pick of Destiny movie would not have been the same without you.

Dude, you rock.

Tim

The last few blog posts have been a little light in tone, so I decided to take on something a little more – weighty.

Rape is (as I understand it) the forced involvement in a sexual act against one’s will.

Why I bring this up is largely as a result of this event: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SlutWalk and my resultant feelings on the matter having seen the delightful behaviour of bevvied up, barely dressed, twenty-somethings on the nations streets on the weekends, or at the end of a month.

Now the Slut Walk movement started in Toronto due a police officer stating that to avoid being victimised that women should avoid dressing like sluts.  The poor choice of words aside, the issue is largely does he have a point.  The Slut Walk movement would argue that women should be able to dress as they wish without having to worry about victimisation – in point of fact we should be spreading the message to men not to rape, rather than the women to avoid being raped.

So who has the most valid point?

Having not ever studied criminal psychology, sociology, or anything as helpful to the discussion as that – all I can offer is a considered opinion.  Rapists, to my mind, are either meticulous planners (those who rape out of compulsion) or opportunists.  The meticulous serial rapists will have a particular modus operandi, a given ‘type’ of victim, a particular hunting ground, etc. – almost creatures of habit.  Allow me instead to deal with the opportunists.

Opportunists will look for a given series of circumstances to come about – perhaps the intoxicating effects of alcohol, a particularly dry spell of sexual encounters, a fixation on a particular person of attraction to them to the point of obsession.  In this respect, the manner of dress could indeed be a factor.

Journalist Rod Liddle suggests that: “…I have a perfect right to leave my windows open when I nip to the shops for some fags, without being burgled. It doesn’t lessen the guilt of the burglar that I’ve left my window open, or even remotely suggest that I was deserving of being burgled. Just that it was more likely to happen.”  Feminist  writer Jessica Valenti argues: ”The idea that women’s clothing has some bearing on whether they will be raped is a dangerous myth feminists have tried to debunk for decades.”

From a simple risk management strategy dressing in a way that is sexually provocative is more likely not only to attract the attentions of the opposite sex, but is also more likely to attract the attention of a sexual predator; in the same way that smoking does not lead to lung cancer – only increases the likelihood of it occurring.  Taking the responsibility for one’s own safety should be the priority.  Similarly, drinking to excess to such a state so that one can even fail to stand up presents a sexual predator with a much more available and easy target – it does not guarantee that one will fall foul of the predator, just makes it more likely.

How would you like to end the night?  As the potential prey of a sexual predator?  Or with an attractive young member of the opposite sex you met while out on a night out drinking with your friends?  To limit the attentions of dangerous people we can simply modify behaviour and dress.

In essesnce, I’m not preaching an ‘avoid being raped’ message – rape is a tragic and horrific act that shouldn’t, but does, exist.  Our children should be being taught that to take a partner by force is wrong.  But until that message permeates our society, we can take the responsibility on ourselves to avoid such attentions.

So I like writing reviews.  Mostly because it’s a good way to express an opinion (and I like doing that) and talking about books.  So recently The Founding Fields asked for some more folk to help review – and I threw my hat in the ring – and they asked me to join.  So check out my first review for Deliverance Lost on The Founding Fields.

Enjoy – and goodnight.

Quick post today as I will be decidedly busy this evening, heading to a gig in Hednesford near Cannock.

If you don’t know already I play guitar and write songs for The Distancing – a band based in Burton-upon-Trent, Staffordshire.  They can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/TheDistancing; here: http://www.myspace.com/thedistancing; or here: http://twitter.com/thedistancing.

For around 8 fish fingers, you need:

• About 300g of Skinned Haddock Loin (I use haddock not cod, as cod stocks are on the wain and need preserving, haddock is much more readily available.  Pollock is another good alternative.)
• About a slice of bread blitzed into breadcrumbs (use a food mixer, or hand blender)
• A pinch of mustard powder
• A generous pinch of sugar
• Seasoning
• About a tablespoon of flour
• A beaten egg.

Mix the breadcrumbs with the mustard powder, sugar, and seasoning.  Place in a bowl.  Season the fish, the salt will help the fish firm up.  Cut the haddock loin into 7-10cm long pieces, each about a centimetre wide and tall (if you’re having trouble, try the length of a finger.)  Roll the pieces of fish in the flour, then dip in the beaten egg, then roll in the breadcrumbs.  Repeat until all the fish fingers are breadcrumbed.

To cook them, heat a small depth of vegetable oil in a frying pan.  Place in the fish fingers, but space them out so they don’t get crowded.  After about 3-5 minutes the bottoms should be a nice golden brown (a by-product of the sugar caramelising) turn the fingers over and repeat this process until they’re a nice even golden brown colour.  (If you’re waiting for them to magically turn bright orange, don’t!)

Serve with chips or wedges, and your choice of vegetable accompaniment.

Cheating post this one really – the link I posted in my Song blog a few weeks ago didn’t work.  So try this one.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/41641383/Far%20Away.mp3